The Lie of Easy Divorce
For those who consider divorce to be an easy answer to marriage problems there is an increasing amount of evidence to the contrary. First of all, the damage done by divorce is devastating. Research has proven that the damage of divorce on children not only lasts for a lifetime, but is also transferred to their children. Adults tell me that going through a divorce is worse than death. Businesses experience up to two years in lost productivity from employees going through a divorce.
Also, more recent research proves that the vast majority of people who divorce are no happier than unhappy couples who stay married. The reason for this is because when divorce occurs you simply exchange one set of problems for new ones.
Another fascinating discovery is that among unhappy couples who stayed married five years later almost eighty percent rated their marriages as happy. The greatest turnaround was reported by couples who were the unhappiest five years earlier.
No fault divorce came to us with the promise that it would make divorce less common and less painful. What a lie! Divorce has become an epidemic and it is still devastating. The legal conveniences of no fault divorce can in no way counteract the serious emotional consequences on adults and children.
In fact, the greatest marriages I’ve ever seen are those that have gone through very difficult times and have lasted through them.
Every marriage goes through difficult times. In fact, the greatest marriages I’ve ever seen are those that have gone through very difficult times and have lasted through them. This is certainly true for Karen and me. We have now been married for thirty-three years and have a great marriage. On the way here, we’ve had some very tough times and were on the brink of divorce almost thirty years ago. The choice to stay together has paid huge dividends.
If you want to have a happy life and marriage lose the word divorce and don’t believe the lie that it brings happiness. In most cases, divorce is the answer to marriage problems in the same way that cutting your arm off is the answer to a broken bone.
Our society is reeling under the effects of broken homes and broken hearts. Many today are fearful of getting married because of all the pain they see. The truth is marriage works when you enter into it with a firm commitment. The vows we say during our wedding ceremonies are designed for this purpose. When we say, “For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part…”, we are making an essential commitment that lays a firm foundation for a successful marriage.
These vows worked for many years in our country until the lie of easy divorce took hold. Since then, it has been a trail of tears. Spare yourself the heartache. Tough it out…and when the devil tells you the lie about easy divorce don’t believe it.
I agree that divorce can be devastating. But I disagree that it is because of the divorce. It has more to do with the actions of those going through the divorce. Many people wait until the hatred, disrespect, hopelessness, and many other hurtful emotions are at the last straw and then set out to hurt the other person. Yes some marriages can be fixed but many can not and if people would be humane in their treatment of each other then the devastation of it may be reduced even elimated.
Do you have any information on physical/verbal abuse…I am in this type of relationship and I honestly want out…does God expect me to stay in this?
I am in the worst time of my life with my marriage about to break down please help me
There are too many reasons why you should stay married which include emotional ties to your mate, spiritual break of covenant, challenges that you may have never faced, children issues, if they are involved, and economic hardships regardless of who receives money or not.
I am recently divorced. I hate the wrong that I did to get myself in the situation. I hate unforgiveness. I hate that I was not the man I should have been. And I hate the challenges my children have to face. DO NOT DO IT!
Why can’t we get it together? Why are we so selfish? Why are we so gaurded? We can make love to each other, think that we know a person, and realize that our choices ultimately lead us to poverty through divorce. There are court fees and untrustworthy lawyers, loss of tax credits, loss of income, loss of family time with mate and children, brokenheartedness, stress-related illness, etc. And if you have to pay child support or alimony, how can you live with the lifestyle prior to the split?!
talk of the demages,divorce is devastating.people should just learn to settle differences early and seek counselling.seeking God also helps.
How about if the situation is this: My husband now has already 1 kid and his mistress is presently pregnant for the second time. Now I am almost giving up everything. Its very hard to handle things especially when I am emotionally affected. Perhaps his attention and focus is no longer with us ( we have 3 children, 2 boys aging 22 & 23 yrs, and 1 girl aging 12 yrs). Should I still stay? How could I have healthy being if the situtation is this, he knows that I know already his unrighteous deeds.
can you help! my marriage of 20 yrs is in need of help! problem here is my husband is a minister we have a church. 3 children.things got bad for along tjme. i prayed and went to him several times .then one night it all blew up.i took my 10 yr old and left. i told him i did noy want a divorce. he will not talk about it.there is more to this story but the bottom line is .it is killing my kids .
CAN YOU HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband and I has been married for 2 years. We have not celebrated an anniversary because he left both times saying he wants a divorce. The reason he left this time was because of an argument we had about him making me late for work. My family came over and he disrespected my mother by yelling in her face. He called me out of my name and hit me in the face and denies all of what he’s done. He said he wants a divorce but never finished filing. We are a young couple. what should I do?
I can tell you that I never believed divorce would be easy or that it would magically solve my problems–it was the most excruciating decision of my life. I believe marriage should be for life–I also thought that my husband took his vows to love and cherish me seriously. Instead, he abused me and our children. I sought help for years before leaving, but he simply refused. Finally, I accepted that leaving was necessary to protect us all. It’s not perfect, but at least we’re safe.
I wish I could get my wife to read this.I’m afraid so will let the devil deceive her into believing this lie.I’m just praying and believing God will open her eyes and heart to his truth.
THANK YOU for standing in the gap for marriage! for your resources, instruction and insight! I share your info every chance I get! God bless you all! Your teaching is transforming my attitude – and that is the best place to start!
So true